the reason i think "50 shades" is a turn for the worse...

you see this guy right here...

yes, that one... the amazing man to my left, your right... that's MY husband! this year we'll have been married for 10 years. they have been the most challenging yet fulfilling years of my life. we have worked SO hard to get where we are... fighting for our marriage when the love didn't feel like it was enough... the fact of the matter is our love will NEVER be enough... but God's love was enough during those days of despair...

anyway... so yea that's MY husband :) he is the most amazing, compassionate, hilarious, giving, thoughtful, hard-working, man of God i have ever met! everyone who meets him thinks & says the same things.

now because he's MY husband i get to say a few things about him that others can't... he is gorgeous, oh God he is so handsome! he is beyond sexy... the man has a natural swagger about him that just doesn't stop! there is a magnet that draws me to him... oh Lord am i drawn to him!!! but he is MY husband so i can say all of these things freely, with pride & God smiles on our passion for each other!!

this leads me to the topic at hand... this "50 shades" nonsense {disclaimer... this is my blog, if you don't like my opinion that's ok! you can go kick rocks in flip-flops!! mmkay} i have not, nor do i intend to, read or watch that garbage...

#canibehonest ... it's girl porn... it's damaging, it's garbage & it's making women very aggressive

while out on the town this weekend, MY husband & i saw droves of women going to see the above stated movie... they were coming out of the theater cackling & so overtly affected...
{once again, my opinion, it was like there was a demonic spirit that had attached itself to them... a spirit of "i have no cares... i'm so free... my inhibitions are gone"... it was weird}

through out the weekend, in numbers like never before, women were just short of throwing themselves at MY husband... making long lasting eye contact with him, eying him up & down like he was a piece of meat... one woman... #ifyoucancallherthat... walked up to him & said "i just want to tell you, you are so sexy. you need to know that"... I WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE!!!!!!

wow... just wow... omg...

since when?? when did women become so classless... so aggressive... so trashy!!??!! oh!! what a coincidence... it's the same timing as the release of socially acceptable girl porn... #imjustsaying

#sorrynotsorry

so, this is me putting all women on notice... & to the woman that think it's ok to hit on another woman's husband .... wait that would require you to be a woman to begin with...  to the pieces of trash that think it's ok to hit on another woman's husband, i'm putting you on blast... it's not ok!! as a woman {& i use that term loosely} you should have a little more respect for yourselves than to make a pass at married man. to disrespect marriage, a marriage i have fought so hard to keep alive & thriving through mountaintops & valleys... how dare you.

my heart breaks for the current condition of womanhood. we should be lifting one another up & exalting each other. think about what it says in titus 2:3-5 {disclaimer... don't hate the messenger...}

³ Teach the older women to be quiet and respectful in everything they do. They must not go around speaking evil of others and must not be heavy drinkers, but they should be teachers of goodness. ⁴ These older women must train the younger women to live quietly, to love their husbands and their children, ⁵ and to be sensible and clean minded, spending their time in their own homes, being kind and obedient to their husbands so that the Christian faith can’t be spoken against by those who know them.

i think i'll finish with this... the world needs a little more titus 2:3-5 & a little less "50 shades"...

#imjustsaying

xoxo,

jeni

oh hello there football season...

football season has a way of getting me excited!!! oh yea! tomorrow is the start of chargers preseason!

let's go baby... IT'S FOOTBALL TIME!

xoxo,
jeni

too many emotions...

so... i cancelled my infertility consult...

we will reschedule eventually {maybe in a few months} but for now jason & i both realized that as the appointment date was nearing, neither of us are ready for bad news :( there is so much emotion that you bury down after a loss {let alone 2!!} & all of that started unearthing for both of us...

it's just too much right now...

and really God is so much bigger than any medical diagnosis anyway!!!

 

The Valley of Dry Bones

Ezekiel 37:1-14

 

The hand of the Lord was on me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the Lord and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. ² He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. ³ He asked me, “Son of man, can these bones live?”

I said, “Sovereign Lord, you alone know.”

⁴ Then he said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! ⁵ This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. ⁶ I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.’”

⁷ So I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. ⁸ I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them.

⁹ Then he said to me, “Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to it, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Come, breath, from the four winds and breathe into these slain, that they may live.’” ¹⁰ So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet—a vast army.

¹¹ Then he said to me: “Son of man, these bones are the people of Israel. They say, ‘Our bones are dried up and our hope is gone; we are cut off.’ ¹² Therefore prophesy and say to them: ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: My people, I am going to open your graves and bring you up from them; I will bring you back to the land of Israel. ¹³ Then you, my people, will know that I am the Lord, when I open your graves and bring you up from them. ¹⁴ I will put my Spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land. Then you will know that I the Lord have spoken, and I have done it, declares the Lord.’”

 

**i used italics & bold on areas that stood out to me :)**

 

xoxo,

jeni

the power of a praying woman...

grab more tissues ladies...

we are daughters of the King of Kings!! He hears you & your prayers carry POWER!!!

101 rules: one thru seven...

i'm compiling a list of 101 rules to marriage... one thru seven are finished :)

http://lifeofmrsperkins.blogspot.com/p/101-lessons-ive-learned-in-marriage.html

i'm impressed with them, if i do say so myself!! slow & steady wins the race...

still a work in progress for sure!!

xoxo,

jeni

ladies, we have a referral...

so my obgyn appointment was lame & honestly i got no answers to any of my questions...

but i did get this...

 

 

we now have a referral to see an infertility specialist for consult & testing {the obgyn said she couldn't order any of the labs because they are not "medically necessary"} so here we go!!

 

let the testing begin!!! appointment is set for the end of march :)

 

xoxo,

 

jeni

quick journey update...

quick update to "His journey to our baby" page :)

check it out!!

xoxo,

jeni

perhaps there is a king in her...

this message just rocked my world!! thank you Jesus that you are not a man that you could lie... i hold tight to your promises that there is a king in me!! (grab a tissue before 36:00!!)

just wait til you have kids...

quick rant... well hopefully it will be quick... {I'm going to apologize in advance for all of the exclamation points lol}

so if you know me, you know i am the eternal optimist!! everything happens for a reason... what the devil meant for evil, God's got the glory {hallelujah!! thank you Jesus!!}... the cup is always half full {unless it's starbucks... so sad when it's almost gone}... one door closing means a greater opportunity is on the horizon... blah blah blah...

infertility just means more time to grow & develop in our marriage... every night is date night when you don't have kids... my miscarriages have allowed me to support so many other women that it was all worth it to give the glory to God & His plan...  just imagine how much we will appreciate the miracle of life & what a blessing our children will be to our family ... ... ...

but then some idiot says, "oh you just wait! just wait until you have kids..... {fill in the blank}"


why?? why do "negative nelly", "mr. grumpy mcgrumperson" people insist on filling in the blank!!!! do you people not know how blessed you are to be parents!!??!!


tell me, please share all of your horrible parenting stories...

-like about all the times you got no sleep
-or maybe about the time when your 2 year-old melted down... everywhere!!
-maybe you should tell me how hard it will be to be a working mom
-please inform me on how much babies cost
-what about the pregnancy symptoms that you complained about non-stop
-tell me how much my life will change...


then i can tell you a few things...

-i couldn't sleep after having my second miscarriage because i felt so alone
-what about the times i melted down seeing pregnant women... everywhere!!
-like when i had to tell family that the baby was gone... again
-please can i inform you how much infertility could cost!!!
-what about the heartache of having an empty womb month after month
-let me tell you how much my life has changed...


watch what you say about having kids "mr. mcgrumperson"...  because you have no idea...

scientific evidence that two become one...

Genesis 2:18-24

^"18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” ¹⁹ Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. ²⁰ The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. ²¹ So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. ²² And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made  into a woman and brought her to the man. ²³ Then the man said,

“This at last is bone of my bones
    and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
    because she was taken out of Man.”

²⁴ Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."

 

 

 

hey party people!! i have heard so many stories recently about long time lovers {aka MARRIED PEOPLE!!! ... i love calling my hubby "lover"... God knew what he was doing when He created all aspects of marriage... i still get butterflies}...

 

where was i?? oh yes!! long time lovers :)  ...  check out this blog from the daily stir about the latest married couple to die within hours of each other... (& he didn't even know his wife had passed!!)

 

i count this as scientific evidence of Genesis 2:24... two become one flesh... he could no longer survive without his lover...

 

 

 

Couple Married 67 Years Die Within Hours of Each Other Without Knowing It 

by Jenny Erikson 

 

 

When Olympia DeNittis died last week at the age of 95, her family decided not to tell her husband of 67 years about her passing. The two were being treated in separate care facilities just miles apart, and they hoped that Michael DeNittis, 94, would continue to fight his four-year battle with colon cancer if he believed his wife was still alive.

 

Instead, his family reports that he dreamed of his own death on the night his wife died, and he quietly slipped away the next day. The couple's granddaughter AnnMarie McDonald said, “It was bizarre ... I think instinctually he knew she had died.”

 

The two grew up in the same neighborhood and had been childhood sweethearts. They married after World War II and, according to the family, had a great romance and were inspirational to many. McDonald said, “They were both remarkable people. We relied on their guidance and insight until the end. And now they’re together.”

 

The granddaughter also said that Olympia was dying of a broken heart (although it was pneumonia that finally took her) and that she wanted to get to Heaven first so she could be there to welcome him.

 

While death is always sad, there is something valiant about living a life with love so deep that you sense a part of you dying when your soul mate passes away. Michael had no way of knowing about Olympia’s death, yet he dreamed that he had died. Not that she had died, but that he himself had.

 

What a sweet and poignant tribute to love and to a long and fruitful life on Earth. It’s obvious they will be missed here, but I hope their story continues to be an inspiration to many.

 

 

just a sweet reminder of our awesome God... now go hug your lover!!

 

xoxo,

 

jeni

 

 

 

 

chargers win & the eve of all eves...

first things first... raiders suck!!

chargers win :) take a moment to enjoy the view to the right!

{this tradition of taking a picture with the winning score & memorable end of the game moment with mom & dennis is so much fun... love love love!!}

yesterday's game was so exciting & a great way to lead into my favorite favorite FAVORITE day of the year!! {ok maybe a close second to my birthday} if you know me & I mean REALLY know me, you know that i love eves' of eves {obviously, because my birthday is an eve-eve lol}... let me explain...

 

what's the best part of any exciting day? in my opinion, it's the anticipation that comes before the exciting event or day... so if the anticipation is the best part, how great is the anticipation of the anticipation!!??!! hence my love for Christmas eve eve :) no built up pressure to make the day great... you just get to enjoy the day & the spirit of the holiday for what it's really about... Jesus!

 

so enjoy today for what it really is... the "eve" of the greatest eve... the celebration of the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ!

 

Merry Christmas!!!

 

jeni

 

"Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the radiance of the Lord’s glory surrounded them. They were terrified, but the angel reassured them. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David! And you will recognize him by this sign: You will find a baby wrapped snugly in strips of cloth, lying in a manger.”

'Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others—the armies of heaven—praising God and saying, “Glory to God in highest heaven, and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased.”' Luke 2:9-14

 

countdown to GOLD!!!

the countdown begins today... for no particular reason other than i say so :) 19 days & counting...

 

omg... i'm almost THIRTY!!!! & it's my golden birthday {the birthday when you turn the same age as your birth date} so that's pretty much awesome...but this is where reality sets in. 

i am beginning to question if i have accomplished what i should have by this season of my life. let's be completely honest & transparent... i struggle with comparing myself & my accomplishments with the lives of others... i know, i know bad jeni! {insert image of me slapping my own hand here} comparison is the thief of joy & one of the devil's tactics he uses to take our focus away from God & the plans He has for us... so what exactly does the Word have to say about this??

first of all Jeremiah 29:11 says ' "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ' {emphasis added is mine} this scripture is so powerful!! it doesn't say "I know the plans I have for your friends, your family, your coworkers, your nail lady, your favorite barista at starbucks & your neighbor's-dog walker's-cousin"... lol... it says I know the plans I have for YOU!!! hello!! God has plans for you specific to the talents He gave you to use for His glory! how awesome is that?

just like every part of the body has a different function, a different use, a different talent, God has given us each a gift. Romans 12: 6-8 says it beautifully..."We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully." {again, emphasis mine}

John Bevere was at our church recently & had an amazing illustration for this very concept... you don't expect your thumb to talk, God gave that talent to your mouth... so why do we try to work outside of our gifts & talents that God created us for?? ouch! so true it stings a little :)

really the bottom line is... i shouldn't worry about what is going on with everyone else around me, what they have accomplished or what they have that i think i should have... God only holds me accountable to the plans He has for me & what i have done with the talents He gave me... that's what pleases God! having faith that He has a plan & seeking His will for your life... "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him." Hebrews 11:6

my prayer during my golden birthday countdown is that i remember to focus on what God has brought me through & the path He is laying before us... it is also golden & built on the foundation of His promises!!

xoxo,

jeni

"Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life."
Galatians 6:4 & 5 {The Message}

i think it's time... & i'm scared...

i think it's time... time to actually start trying instead of just not preventing... & i'm scared. it's been almost 5 years since our first miscarriage & almost 2 since the second... but still nothing. we have been busy with everything else under the sun but i'm almost 30 & not getting any younger!!

so we're going to bite the financial bullet & enroll into an available insurance policy through hubby's job... & it covers 50% of infertility testing/ treatment {from what I hear that's pretty good... & definitely better than nothing!!} i don't want the next 5 years to pass like the last... doing nothing just so that we don't have to face the reality.

obviously there is something that's just not quite right & it's time to figure out what & actually start trying... so here we go...

xoxo,
jeni

it's been that kind of day...

...and then i locked my keys in the car :-)

have a great weekend!!

xoxo,
Jeni

the dreaded "kids" question...

hey ya'll... i'm feeling very country today lol :)

i was just asked the dreaded "kids" question :( i know i know... if your familiar with my story you just thought "ugh!! that sucks... i want to hug you right now". please hug away because i need it...

a patient at the office i work in just asked me, "so when are you & your husband gonna try to have some kids" {insert "come on already! what's taking you guys so long" attitude}. i felt my face get red {with anxiety, not rage... ok a little rage...} & i proceeded to tell her actually we have been trying for years & have lost 2 babies in the last 3 years, forgetting until now that it's actually been 4 & 1/2 years {wow... that realization stings}. i tried to keep it all smiles as i felt my heart breaking, begging God to keep me strong & thanking Him for the opportunity to show His love & glory. i explained that so many of my girlfriends have been through miscarriages over the last few years & i felt grateful for having been through losses, that i could lift them up & be an encouragement. even in this moment i thank God that we have been through struggles. it will make the blessing just that much sweeter {btw... our future children will be so awesome & loved beyond all comparison!!!}

the Lord promises in Ephesians 3:20 that we will have infinitely more than we might ask or imagine & i hold strong to that promise... when the Lord blesses us with children, it will be better than we could have ever imagined!!{thanks to www.hannahbunker.com for the image}

so thank you, random patient, for asking me the "dreaded question" so that God could remind me of His promise :)

xoxo,
Jeni

dealing with rejection...

so it's therapy time!! hello btw... i know its been a while :)

when i write, i write for me & this post is all about me getting some junk out!! i'm not even sure where to start or if i will publish this post but it needs to get out {obviously i decided to click publish lol}... it might not make sense & will probably be a bit of a ramble but i don't care because i am writing for me...


ok
here we go...

i am hurt over being rejected... like 6 years ago :/ lol i don't hold grudges i swear!! it probably stems from deep rooted issues over when i lost my dad way to early in life {i was 11 when he passed but the last time i saw him i was 7}... he was sick... he had HIV & loved me enough to not let me see him dying... blah blah blah... no disrespect to my dad & i know logically that is true & he loved me sooo much... but really??!! that just set me up for some major issues in life! my mom & dad divorced when i saw 2 {he had already been diagnosed by that time but was not "sick" yet} & my mom met my future step dad when i was 4... they got married when i was 8 ... my sister was born when i was 10 ... blah blah blah...

ok now this is where things get complicated... i'll spare all the ugly details but i was a good kid until my early 20s... life happens & sometimes we make some not so great decisions {i didn't kill anyone or anything lol}... so my life kinda got topsey turvey but everyone stood by my side... except for my "dad". he & my mom were divorcing & things got kinda ugly. we were all living together in the same house during the entire divorce process & for a month after it had already been finalized... clearly this was not a fun time... he placed blame on me for their relationship issues... he judged me for the issues i was dealing with... he used me to get to my mom & put me in the middle... my issues were suddenly the cause of their divorce that had been brewing for years before my struggle {they had filed & cancelled a divorce 6 years prior during my senior year of high school!!}

once the divorce was over {& we were all still living under the same roof- ugh!!!} they decided that waiting to sell the house was not working {obviously!!}... so he kept the house & mom was moving out... & apparently my hubby & i were no longer welcome either...{cue the sad music... this is where i get rejected by the second dad in my life} he told my mom & husband that i was their responsibility & that i was no longer welcome in his home. the only dad i had ever really known in my life... the dad that raised me... taught me how to swim... bought my wedding dress & walked me down the aisle... no longer wanted anything to do with me...

what??!!?? how could he say that?? i was so hurt & took up a screw you attitude {excuse my language}… i decided it was perfectly fine if i never talked to him ever again. the times i did see him it was only because of my sister & i felt sick to my stomach every time!

fast forward 6 years... i’m totally over it, right?? yea, apparently not so much… so, to this man who was my dad for 20 years i would like to say…

i forgive you… i know that time in our lives was rough for all of us & my struggle didn’t make it any easier to deal with… i am sorry that i never thought about what it must have been like for you to be loosing your family & seeing a girl you raised as your own in pain… i am sorry for all of the negative things i thought & said about you over the last 6 years… i don’t know if we will ever be in contact again or if God has a deeper plan for us but what i do know is i no longer resent you…

i am sorry dad & i forgive you

xoxo,
Jeni

is it august yet?...

i have no news to share... i'm just patiently waiting for august...

because i REALLY miss football!!!



that's all :)

xoxo,
Jeni

remembering the joy...

tomorrow will be one year since we found out we were pregnant... i can't believe it's already been a year. that was such an amazing moment. i knew, i just KNEW i was pregnant... but i had "known" so many times before... if you have ever dealt with fertility issues or TTC {trying to conceive}, you know what i'm talking about :/ lol

but his time was different & i really knew i was gonna be a mama :)

but the stick didn't lie!! we were definitely pregnant! it had been exactly 3 years since our first loss in january 2009... a very long, challenging, painful, heart breaking, 3 years! but we learned so much about ourselves, each other, & things we will do differently in raising our children... we would have made the wrong decisions if that time had not been given to us... more on the topic of raising children with a wellness mindset later!!

God truly had a plan bigger than we could have imagined & it was finally His perfect timing for us to be a family of 3!!



Auntie Cassie, me & baby aka 'lil bit - February 2012 

  
 

but then it came crashing down... again... at our 10 week appointment there was no heartbeat but the midwife accounted that to my tilted uterus {it has a gangsta' lean lol} it never even crossed my mind that there was a possibility of having another miscarriage, of losing another baby, of having to endure another heartbreak...

by march 16th i was in terrible pain in my belly, i assumed it was gas pains lol...& then the spotting started... but we were almost 12 weeks along... we were almost in the elusive "safety zone"... 12 weeks couldn't come fast enough... we weren't going to lose another baby... i couldn't lose another baby

the next day, st. patrick's day {btw i hate the color green... God has an awesome sense of humor!! more regarding that to come}, i was still very uncomfortable & getting concerned. by mid day the spotting had changed... it was red... bright red... my heart broke into a million pieces! my baby was gone & i immediately felt alone! jason was there with me & was so supportive... but i was so alone... i just wanted my baby...

at 11 weeks 2 days we were in the emergency room & our worst fear was confirmed... the baby had stopped developing around 8 weeks & that was it... my pregnancy was over in the blink of an eye... i had to let go & let God heal my broken heart again. it was january 2009 all over again... i remembered the feeling of emptiness & despair... i remembered the inconsolable crying... i remembered wanting to curl up to my love & never let him go... i remembered it all too well...

but i also remembered what God did!!! i remembered the way He loved me, consoled me, He ministered to my heart through such amazing friends... other women who shared their stories of loss... they encouraged me & i saw Christ in them!! i had been restored before... & i knew God would heal me again!

fast forward to may 2012... we moved that month & God was proving faithful to His promises! I was finding my joy again... the joy i remembered Him giving me in 2009 after our first miscarriage... the joy i remembered from january 26, 2012 when we found out we were expecting... it was the same joy He always provides because our hope & our expectations are in HIM!!!

since may we have been settling into the new apartment & loving it!! for the record, my hatred for the color green has turned into an OBSESSIVE love of all things green {& not on purpose, believe me... i hated green!!}we now have: a green car, a ridiculous amount of green clothes {pants, 4 shirts, scarves blah, blah, blah}, a green accented kitchen, a bedroom who's accent color is- you guessed it- GREEN!! ... i seriously could go on and on... my love for green has taken me by storm...

need i remind you that we sent our baby to heaven to be with Jesus on st. patrick's day :) God sure does have an amazing sense of humor!!

Lord, since i couldn't tell my babies about you, will you please tell them about me!

mama and daddy love you lil bits!! see you both when we get there :)

December 2012 - notice the green shirt :) lol

xoxo,
Jeni

new year, fresh view...

hey party people!!! happy twenty-thirteen :) i'm telling you this is our year!! i just know already that is is gonna be one for the books! not only will i be the big 3-0 (ahhh!!!) ... which means my mama will be the big 5-0 AHHH!! lol... but i see God working in amazing ways already :) His hand is on us and our family in such an amazing way...

as far as moving towards mommy-hood, it is still a work in progress :p lol... i told jason the other day that i will be preggo before i'm thirty... he said "that's this year, we better get to it" lol... i just love him :) we all know it hasn't been that easy for us but i love his enthusiasm :) having a positive attitude will only make the process easier... stressing out about our fertility will only make things worse and i am not willing to put the extra stress on my marriage... God and our relationship will be the foundation of our future family so they will always come first :)

so... back into the blogging swing of things :) i hope! lol

xoxo,
Jeni

p.s. raiders suck!! go chargers!! bye bye norv & aj :)

reminder of God's timing...

read another blog today about infertility and was inspired by the writers words. she struggled for years with infertility and multiple (meaning 6!!!) miscarriages... there are no words! she has since has a successful full term pregnancy and was thinking back to the time after her first loss. the specialist said in an email that he was hopeful that her long term prognosis was good... she found hope in his words and went back to the email after each and every loss. as time went on she thought, "what about this is good? how 'longterm' was he talking??"...

and eventually God showed up right on time, just like he does every time! she has been blessed with an amazing love bug... she had lost sight of the long term... but now sees that the prognosis was not just good, it was AMAZING!!

Lord, help me not to lose sight of your plan! help me to see the long term :) because i know it will be AMAZING!!!

xoxo,
Jeni