Showing posts with label infertility. Show all posts
Showing posts with label infertility. Show all posts

3.24.2014

too many emotions...

so... i cancelled my infertility consult...

we will reschedule eventually {maybe in a few months} but for now jason & i both realized that as the appointment date was nearing, neither of us are ready for bad news :( there is so much emotion that you bury down after a loss {let alone 2!!} & all of that started unearthing for both of us...

it's just too much right now...


and really God is so much bigger than any medical diagnosis anyway!!!

 
The Valley of Dry Bones
Ezekiel 37:1-14
 
The hand of the Lord was on me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the Lord and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. He asked me, “Son of man, can these bones live?”
I said, “Sovereign Lord, you alone know.
Then he said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.’”
So I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them.
Then he said to me, “Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to it, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Come, breath, from the four winds and breathe into these slain, that they may live.’” 10 So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet—a vast army.
11 Then he said to me: “Son of man, these bones are the people of Israel. They say, ‘Our bones are dried up and our hope is gone; we are cut off.’ 12 Therefore prophesy and say to them: ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: My people, I am going to open your graves and bring you up from them; I will bring you back to the land of Israel. 13 Then you, my people, will know that I am the Lord, when I open your graves and bring you up from them. 14 I will put my Spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land. Then you will know that I the Lord have spoken, and I have done it, declares the Lord.’”
 
**i used italics & bold on areas that stood out to me :)**
 
xoxo,
jeni

3.05.2014

ladies, we have a referral...

so my obgyn appointment was lame & honestly i got no answers to any of my questions...

but i did get this...

 
 
we now have a referral to see an infertility specialist for consult & testing {the obgyn said she couldn't order any of the labs because they are not "medically necessary"} so here we go!!
 
let the testing begin!!! appointment is set for the end of march :)
 
xoxo,
 
jeni

2.25.2014

perhaps there is a king in her...




this message just rocked my world!! thank you Jesus that you are not a man that you could lie... i hold tight to your promises that there is a king in me!! (grab a tissue before 36:00!!)

2.20.2014

just wait til you have kids...

quick rant... well hopefully it will be quick... {I'm going to apologize in advance for all of the exclamation points lol}

so if you know me, you know i am the eternal optimist!! everything happens for a reason... what the devil meant for evil, God's got the glory {hallelujah!! thank you Jesus!!}... the cup is always half full {unless it's starbucks... so sad when it's almost gone}... one door closing means a greater opportunity is on the horizon... blah blah blah...

infertility just means more time to grow & develop in our marriage... every night is date night when you don't have kids... my miscarriages have allowed me to support so many other women that it was all worth it to give the glory to God & His plan...  just imagine how much we will appreciate the miracle of life & what a blessing our children will be to our family ... ... ...

but then some idiot says, "oh you just wait! just wait until you have kids..... {fill in the blank}"


why?? why do "negative nelly", "mr. grumpy mcgrumperson" people insist on filling in the blank!!!! do you people not know how blessed you are to be parents!!??!!


tell me, please share all of your horrible parenting stories...

-like about all the times you got no sleep
-or maybe about the time when your 2 year-old melted down... everywhere!!
-maybe you should tell me how hard it will be to be a working mom
-please inform me on how much babies cost
-what about the pregnancy symptoms that you complained about non-stop
-tell me how much my life will change...


then i can tell you a few things...

-i couldn't sleep after having my second miscarriage because i felt so alone
-what about the times i melted down seeing pregnant women... everywhere!!
-like when i had to tell family that the baby was gone... again
-please can i inform you how much infertility could cost!!!
-what about the heartache of having an empty womb month after month
-let me tell you how much my life has changed...


watch what you say about having kids "mr. mcgrumperson"...  because you have no idea...

12.09.2013

i think it's time... & i'm scared...

i think it's time... time to actually start trying instead of just not preventing... & i'm scared. it's been almost 5 years since our first miscarriage & almost 2 since the second... but still nothing. we have been busy with everything else under the sun but i'm almost 30 & not getting any younger!!

so we're going to bite the financial bullet & enroll into an available insurance policy through hubby's job... & it covers 50% of infertility testing/ treatment {from what I hear that's pretty good... & definitely better than nothing!!} i don't want the next 5 years to pass like the last... doing nothing just so that we don't have to face the reality.

obviously there is something that's just not quite right & it's time to figure out what & actually start trying... so here we go...

xoxo,
jeni