101 rules: one thru seven...

i'm compiling a list of 101 rules to marriage... one thru seven are finished :)

http://lifeofmrsperkins.blogspot.com/p/101-lessons-ive-learned-in-marriage.html

i'm impressed with them, if i do say so myself!! slow & steady wins the race...

still a work in progress for sure!!

xoxo,

jeni

chargers win & the eve of all eves...

first things first... raiders suck!!

chargers win :) take a moment to enjoy the view to the right!

{this tradition of taking a picture with the winning score & memorable end of the game moment with mom & dennis is so much fun... love love love!!}

yesterday's game was so exciting & a great way to lead into my favorite favorite FAVORITE day of the year!! {ok maybe a close second to my birthday} if you know me & I mean REALLY know me, you know that i love eves' of eves {obviously, because my birthday is an eve-eve lol}... let me explain...

 

what's the best part of any exciting day? in my opinion, it's the anticipation that comes before the exciting event or day... so if the anticipation is the best part, how great is the anticipation of the anticipation!!??!! hence my love for Christmas eve eve :) no built up pressure to make the day great... you just get to enjoy the day & the spirit of the holiday for what it's really about... Jesus!

 

so enjoy today for what it really is... the "eve" of the greatest eve... the celebration of the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ!

 

Merry Christmas!!!

 

jeni

 

"Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the radiance of the Lord’s glory surrounded them. They were terrified, but the angel reassured them. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David! And you will recognize him by this sign: You will find a baby wrapped snugly in strips of cloth, lying in a manger.”

'Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others—the armies of heaven—praising God and saying, “Glory to God in highest heaven, and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased.”' Luke 2:9-14

 

dealing with rejection...

so it's therapy time!! hello btw... i know its been a while :)

when i write, i write for me & this post is all about me getting some junk out!! i'm not even sure where to start or if i will publish this post but it needs to get out {obviously i decided to click publish lol}... it might not make sense & will probably be a bit of a ramble but i don't care because i am writing for me...


ok
here we go...

i am hurt over being rejected... like 6 years ago :/ lol i don't hold grudges i swear!! it probably stems from deep rooted issues over when i lost my dad way to early in life {i was 11 when he passed but the last time i saw him i was 7}... he was sick... he had HIV & loved me enough to not let me see him dying... blah blah blah... no disrespect to my dad & i know logically that is true & he loved me sooo much... but really??!! that just set me up for some major issues in life! my mom & dad divorced when i saw 2 {he had already been diagnosed by that time but was not "sick" yet} & my mom met my future step dad when i was 4... they got married when i was 8 ... my sister was born when i was 10 ... blah blah blah...

ok now this is where things get complicated... i'll spare all the ugly details but i was a good kid until my early 20s... life happens & sometimes we make some not so great decisions {i didn't kill anyone or anything lol}... so my life kinda got topsey turvey but everyone stood by my side... except for my "dad". he & my mom were divorcing & things got kinda ugly. we were all living together in the same house during the entire divorce process & for a month after it had already been finalized... clearly this was not a fun time... he placed blame on me for their relationship issues... he judged me for the issues i was dealing with... he used me to get to my mom & put me in the middle... my issues were suddenly the cause of their divorce that had been brewing for years before my struggle {they had filed & cancelled a divorce 6 years prior during my senior year of high school!!}

once the divorce was over {& we were all still living under the same roof- ugh!!!} they decided that waiting to sell the house was not working {obviously!!}... so he kept the house & mom was moving out... & apparently my hubby & i were no longer welcome either...{cue the sad music... this is where i get rejected by the second dad in my life} he told my mom & husband that i was their responsibility & that i was no longer welcome in his home. the only dad i had ever really known in my life... the dad that raised me... taught me how to swim... bought my wedding dress & walked me down the aisle... no longer wanted anything to do with me...

what??!!?? how could he say that?? i was so hurt & took up a screw you attitude {excuse my language}… i decided it was perfectly fine if i never talked to him ever again. the times i did see him it was only because of my sister & i felt sick to my stomach every time!

fast forward 6 years... i’m totally over it, right?? yea, apparently not so much… so, to this man who was my dad for 20 years i would like to say…

i forgive you… i know that time in our lives was rough for all of us & my struggle didn’t make it any easier to deal with… i am sorry that i never thought about what it must have been like for you to be loosing your family & seeing a girl you raised as your own in pain… i am sorry for all of the negative things i thought & said about you over the last 6 years… i don’t know if we will ever be in contact again or if God has a deeper plan for us but what i do know is i no longer resent you…

i am sorry dad & i forgive you

xoxo,
Jeni

let's do this!!

so i figure since baby is on the way i need to document this AMAZING experience... what a better way than to blog! so here we go :)

officially 10 full weeks today and can not wait until our appointment next week!! hearing 'lil bit's (short for little baby it lol) heart beat is going to be one of the best moments in our lives for sure!

now back to work :)